Just One Diaper
I’m not actually pregnant. I thought I was, but after I realized I didn’t end up pregnant, I decided to have “miscarriage” sex (if you want to call it that). Yes, it was that bad. So we ended up going out as friends instead of girlfriends. Yes, I know I am grossed out. Gah, the hormones are wreaking havoc on my brain and my emotions right now. Not what a girl wants.
Since we aren’t going to be able to have a pregnancy of our own, I figured we should try for a baby with a boy. If you know anything about me, you would know that I very much love babies. You know what else I love? Money. Boy babies. Boy babies and money are a very good combination. We used donor sperm, which means we’ll be paying a lot. But if it doesn’t work, we aren’t out much money. When we found out we couldn’t be blessed with a baby of our own, I decided we should try. I was shocked that my husband disagreed with me, but he did. We did end up having a first boy, but it wasn’t so quick. It took almost 18 months. I was just hoping for one child. One child could be raised by us. That was my plan. He was born 6/4/10 and was 21 months old when I took this picture. He is the most gorgeous baby I have ever seen. I adored him so much. It’s funny, my parents came to visit while we were at the hospital and they saw him in the nursery. They got to see him and he looked like a baby. I got to hold him and kiss his tiny little head and I remember thinking, what kind of mother am I? I was going to love him to death. And I did. I don’t even want to think about how close I came to missing out on it. I was SO close to being a single parent. I am scared to think of what I would have done without the support of my husband.
He will always be the baby I love the most and I can’t wait to see what he does when he’s a teenager. I am glad I got to experience the joy of a baby before my marriage. I know I will be blessed with other children later, but I want to enjoy my first baby.
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